Now I expect this behaviour from Kayne West – an egotistical rapper who thinks the world is his playground and also his punching bag. West was arrested today at LAX after he and a bodyguard attack TMZ photographers and smashed their cameras (Although unrelated to the story at hand, got here to watch the video of Kayne in attack mode).

But did I expect to hear that New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick would attack his physically crippled peer Roger Ebert at a screening yesterday during the Toronto International Film Festival? No, not until I read the following story in the Chicago Sun-Times. Personally, I find the incident in question, as I hope you do, completely absurd and hilarious, even despite the fact that Ebert followed up the original story (wherever it was first published) with this post on his blog, saying, “a fellow critic whacked me with a rolled-up program or a festival binder or something. It has been blown out of proportion. It is of little interest.” Read the following article and let me know what you think.

Ebert confirms fellow critic hit him at Toronto Film Festival
By Phil Rosenthal | Tribune media columnist
4:56 PM CDT, September 11, 2008
Though Pulitzer Prize-winning Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert no longer spars over movies with fellow critics on TV, it turns out the 66-year-old reviewer whose speaking voice has been lost to the effects of cancer treatment still has to defend himself from other reviewers — physically, if not verbally.
By e-mail Thursdsay, Ebert corroborated a New York Daily News report that New York Post film reviewer Lou Lumenick whacked the venerated Chicago critic with a binder during a screening last week at the Toronto Film Festival.
Lumenick reportedly was annoyed by being tapped on the shoulder by whomever was sitting behind him, so he got up, turned around and took a swing. Only afterward did Lumenick apparently realize he had hit Ebert, who had simply been trying to silently request Lumenick shift in his seat so as to not to block his view.
“[Lumenick] hit him so hard everybody could hear it,” a source told the Daily News. “Everyone freaked out and turned around.”
Lumenick did not respond to an e-mailed Tribune request for additional details.
Ebert wrote in a story posted to suntimes.com that the incident “has been blown out of proportion [and] is of little interest.” But he also noted his wife, Chaz, who did not witness what happened, was taken aback when she learned of it.
“Her reaction when she heard: ‘I’ll get a no-neck guy from the West Side to break his knees,’” he recalled. “Just rhetorical, I trust.”

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But as Anthony Kaufman mentions in his article TORONTO ‘08 | Assessing the Business Landscape as TIFF Gets Underway this Week, “Myths die hard in the film business. But the fairytale that says an independent movie goes into a film festival, sparks a bidding war and gets sold for millions and millions of dollars is fading fast.”

The entire article, which can be read here, focuses on how the distribution process works for independent film. Basically, movie buffs see a trailer or here some news for an unsigned film, and then read the reviews from the press who have seen it at a festival like that upcoming in Toronto. If the film is lucky, it will be picked up by a studio, and then released anywhere from a few theaters in New York and LA, to the golden ticket, a few thousand or more theaters across the country. Well according to Kaufman, things in the Indie marketplace may be changing. The article is an interesting read for any indie film lover curious about how the movies get from the factory to your plate.

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The TIFF started in 1976 and now draws close to 300,000 attendees. With the following list of movies, this year’s TIFF shames Sundance, SXSW, Berlin, Tribeca, and any other film festival out there, so if you are in the Toronto area go ahead and get your tickets.

The Brothers Bloom, Rian Johnson
The brothers Bloom (Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo) are the best con men in the world, swindling millionaires with complex scenarios of lust and intrigue. Now they’ve decided to take on one last con – showing a beautiful and eccentric heiress (Rachel Weisz) the time of her life with a romantic adventure that carries them around the world. The Brothers Bloom also features Rinko Kikuchi, Maximilian Schell and Robbie Coltrane.

Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle
From acclaimed director Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later) comes a story about a kid with nothing, who has everything to lose. Jamal Malik, an 18-year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai, is just one question away from winning a staggering 20 million rupees on India’s Who Wants to be A Millionaire? Arrested on suspicion of cheating, he tells the police the amazing tale of his life on the streets, and of the girl he loved and lost. But what is a kid with no interest in money doing on the show? And how does he know all the answers?

Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Kevin Smith
Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks star in this bawdy tale of love and friendship from Kevin Smith. Lifelong friends and roommates Zack (Rogen) and Miri (Banks) are facing hard times and a mountain of debt. When the electricity and plumbing get cut off, the two seize upon the idea of making a homegrown porno movie for some quick cash, enlisting the help of their friends. The two vow that having sex will not ruin their friendship; but as everyone starts “doing” everyone, what started out as a friendly business proposition turns into something much more.

Che: Part One, Stephen Soderbergh
On November 26, 1956, Fidel Castro sails to Cuba with eighty rebels. One of those rebels is Ernesto “Che” Guevara, an Argentine doctor who shares a common goal with Fidel Castro – to overthrow the corrupt dictatorship of Fulgencio Batista. Che proves indispensable as a fighter, and quickly grasps the art of guerrilla warfare. As he throws himself into the struggle, Che is embraced by his comrades and the Cuban people. Che: Part One tracks Che’s rise in the Cuban Revolution, from doctor to commander to revolutionary hero.

Che: Part Two, Stephen Soderbergh
After the Cuban Revolution, Che is at the height of his fame and power. Then he disappears, re-emerging incognito in Bolivia, where he organizes a small group of Cuban comrades and Bolivian recruits to start the great Latin American Revolution. The story of the Bolivian campaign is a tale of tenacity, sacrifice and idealism, and of guerrilla warfare that ultimately fails, bringing Che to his death. Che: Part Two explores how Che remains a symbol of idealism and heroism that lives in the hearts of people around the world.

Synecdoche, New York, Charlie Kaufman
Worried about the transience of his life, theatre director Caden Cotard (Philip Seymour Hoffman) leaves his home behind and sets out to construct a massive artistic enterprise. Gathering an ensemble cast into a warehouse in New York City, he hopes to create a work of brutal honesty. He directs them in a celebration of the mundane, instructing each to live out their constructed lives in a growing mockup of the city outside. The years rapidly fold into each other, and Caden buries himself deeper into his masterpiece but the textured tangle of real and theatrical relationships blurs the line between the world of the play and that of Caden’s own deteriorating reality. Synecdoche also stars Jennifer Jason Leigh, Catherine Keener, Dianne Wiest, Samantha Morton, Michelle Williams, Emily Watson and Hope Davis.

The Wrestler, Darren Aronofsky
Back in the late ’80s, Randy “The Ram” Robinson (Mickey Rourke) was a headlining professional wrestler. Now, twenty years later, he ekes out a living performing for handfuls of die-hard wrestling fans in high-school gyms and community centres. Randy lives for the thrill of the show and the adoration of his fans; but when he suffers a heart attack after a match, he is forced into retirement. He begins to evaluate the state of his life but the allure of the spotlight and the passion for his sport threatens to pull him back inside the ring. Directed by Darren Aronofsky (The Fountain, TIFF 2006), The Wrestler also stars Evan Rachel Wood, Marisa Tomei, Judah Friedlander and the Necro Butcher.

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The 61st Festival de Cannes has just wrapped up and they have selected the winners of the various francophone awards. Below is an abbreviation of the full list, ie. the films that you are most likely to see in theaters in the near future.

IN COMPETTION – FEATURE FILMS

Award for the Best Screenplay
LE SILENCE DE LORNA de / by Jean-Pierre et Luc DARDENNE

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Waltz With Bashir, the first official trailer from cinemascopian.com on Vimeo.

Ari Folman is both the filmmaker and main character, and depicts his personal struggle over a 1982 massacre of more than three thousand Palestinians by Christian militia as he, an Israeli soldier, stood and watched. Folman had previously done a graduate thesis and festival regular “”Comfortably Numb” as well as 1996 Berlin Film Festival People’s Choice Award winner “Saint Clara”. “Waltz with Bashir” appeared today at Cannes and supposedly received resounding praise.

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Have you ever wanted to see what the red carpet set up at a movie premier looks like at 5 in the morning……….in France!!!!??? Well with IFC’s new 24hour Cannes Film Festival Cam, you can. No this is not an infomercial. The internet cam comes with a schedule of daily events and a running clock, to aid those international time zone challenged. The 61st incarnation of the festival de Cannes runs from May 14 through the 25. Feel free to glue yourself to the star studded afternoon affairs and then turn up the volume during the evening and fall asleep to the soothing sounds of the French Riviera.

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ESPN Films has produced such unmemorable made for TV movies as the Bobby Knight biopic “A Season on the Brink”, Pete Roses’ “Hustle”, and Texas A&M football flick “The Junction Boys”. These moves obviously required very little effort and featured absolutely no talent. Wait, I take that back. “Home Improvement’s” Zachary Ty Bryan (AKA Brad) starred in the Army football scandal movie “Code Breakers”.

I said at least not until now because ESPN has already signed up with Robert Redford to produce a Jackie Robinson biopic, a revolutionary move I have already talked about as breaking the baseball film color barrier. ESPN has also joined forces with indie cinema in creating the 2nd annual Tribeca/ESPN Sports Film Festival, with all eleven featured films appearing in New York back to back Sunday, April 27 and Saturday, May 3. ESPN Classic (channel 9,876 on most home sets) will also be airing festival coverage and related sports movies on May 15. But ESPN’s best move yet is teaming up with Spike Lee to produce a new documentary on Kobe Bryant.

Inspired by “Zidane: A 21st-Century Portrait” which followed the French soccer star during every second of a game, Lee wanted to do something similar with Kobe. On the second to last game of this season, Lee positioned 18 cameras around the Staples Center following the Laker’s star pre, during, and post-game.

So finally ESPN secured some talent in Lee and Redford, and put some effort into this film festival thing. And while I am by no means rooting for ESPN to monopolize anything else, I am excited about better sports films and the prospect of watching them for free through my cable service. The Spike Lee Kobe joint will be aired sometime next year on either ESPN or its sister station ABC. That is going to look great in HD.

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His first post relays a story of an encounter with science fiction writer Arthur C. Clark when Ebert was a highschooler in Illinois. He goes on to detail a moment later in life when the two met once again, this time due to the release of Clarke’s “2001: A Space Odyssey”. Name dropping and insight ensue, and my excitement builds for what could be, and hopefully will be, many more posts from Ebert. I can only imagine the multitude of actors, directors, writers, and random celebrities, that Ebert has met. As he is never one to pull any punches, I am sure any further stories will be a must read. This all ran through my mind until I read his next post, which could have been titled “A Dose of Reality”.

Ebert mentions that he is actually writing these posts on a legal pad, in his hospital bed. In addition, he states that he will not be attending the days festivities. Now this is bad news for those hopeful Eberfest attendees, but it also puts a hamper on the future of this great blog, before it barely even started. I, as well as many others who read his blog today I am sure, hope that Ebert will be well enough to attend his festival in the coming days, and that he will continue to write daily from the encyclopedia of film knowledge he keeps under the noggin.

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Not being that familiar with the greater Chicago area, I didn’t know this festival existed until I did a little research, but it sounds like a truly unique event. The festival is held in Champaign Illinois, where Ebert grew up, hosted by the University of Illinois, from which Ebert graduated, and has all its viewings at the Virginia Theater, where Ebert saw movies as a kid. Once called the “Overlooked Film Festival”, the films shown are not submitted, but entirerly hand picked by Ebert himself. Best part yet, each showing is followed by a discussion with Ebert and various people associated with the particular film. This years scheduled films run the gambit from 1927’s “Underworld”, don’t act like you know anything about this, to truly, truly, unsung modern films like “Hulk” and “The Cell”. It is this wild selection that really makes me want to hear the post film discussions. If you want to see the full schedule, or if you live in the area and want to get more information on the event go here.

Also, check out this vintage picture of the Virginia Theater where the showings are going to take place

Side note: I don’t know what it is, but I have loved old theaters ever since seeing “Matinee” as a kid. As well as balconies in said theaters. I love balconies.

Oh, and there is this little thing called the Tribeca Film Festival also starting tomorrow, but you can get much more plentiful information at just about every movie site in existence, so no need for redundancy here.CVirgin

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